So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
