Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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