evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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