Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
