is your mom at the bar?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
