were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
