Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
