I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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