How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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