The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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