Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
