Don't you send me to vm
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
