So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
