But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
