these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
