I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
