If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
