It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
