You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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