Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
