I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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