I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
