I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My ass is underappreciated
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize