guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
