Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
