I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What a dumb baby whore.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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