3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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