Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
