hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
