You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
