ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
