U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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