all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize