drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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