The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
