guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
