Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Randomize
