is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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