I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
