i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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