Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
