i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
be right there i have to get my cape
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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