you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
