seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
