Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
pray to the hookup gods
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
