if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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