You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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