does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
