maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
