Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize