Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
