it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
