so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
