she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
