If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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