is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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