THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize