Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
