I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
