So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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