You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
