Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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